Exalted Toxin Lord - Chapter 44
Everything had started to fall apart for Hua Yan.
Hua Yin was dead and he had killed her with his own hands!
Though it was Frenzy’s will that did this, it didn’t change the fact that he had allowed her to be killed. She was gone now, and so was his will to live.
He no longer had a desire to earn money. He no longer had a need to get stronger.
As for the ashes, needless to say, he would not be reclaiming them.
He wanted to die!
“But you can’t,” Frenzy stated, “I won’t allow you to. Your body is in my control.”
Hua Yan wanted to use his hands to tear his own skin off. He wanted to use the blade in his possession to rip his eyeballs out. He wanted to bite limbs off. He wanted to trample himself into a pancake!
He wanted to do something incredibly violent to himself, but he couldn’t even muster the willpower to move his fingers…
“I won’t… follow you!” Hua Yan screamed suicidally.
It was still extremely hard for Hua Yan to communicate with Frenzy. Every time he tried, he would be hit with a massive resistive force. Even saying a few words back could render him unconscious.
Such was because of the gap in power between the two of them.
But Hua Yan ignored this. He didn’t even want to live. What did it matter if he fainted anymore? Nothing mattered at this point…
“But even if I can control you, I won’t have you follow the Will of Ashura,” Frenzy exclaimed, “You will be doing that yourself.”
Hua Yan didn’t know what Frenzy was thinking. He had already firmly declared that he would not be doing anything, so Frenzy thought that it could make a compromise with him?
How? It had just killed his sister! Why would he help it!
“Because, there are methods to bring her back. Methods which you will never have access to unless you grow stronger; strength which you will never gain without following the Will of Ashura!”
Hua Yan was hit hard with these words. It really felt that Frenzy was manipulating him. He knew that things would definitely not be as simple as how Frenzy had made them out to be. There was a catch somewhere hidden here. He did not know what he had to give away to get what he wanted.
But, the offer of bringing Hua Yin back was really tempting.
Even if it was fake, the illusion of it was enough to move Hua Yan.
To be honest, he still hadn’t even gotten over the fact that she was dead. It was too weird. Everything was too surreal. It was too sudden!
In this troubling time, Frenzy approached him with a deal. His mind wasn’t in its best state. He wasn’t thinking things through at all.
But, even if he could think, he just had to take up this offer. He couldn’t let things rest as they were now. If there was a way, he wanted to travel it.
He did not want the story to end here. He still had so many things that he wanted Hua Yin to experience. With her abrupt death, he had to put an end to all those thoughts.
But, if what Frenzy was saying was true… then all he had to do was to become stronger!
All he had to do was to follow the Will of Ashura.
He did not know what this meant, but if it could bring Hua Yin back, he was willing to give it a try.
So what if he had to give up his humanity in the process? What was humanity worth anyway? Humans were disgusting for the most part, so why did he have to aspire to be like them? Furthermore, from what he heard, if he started to cultivate, he would become more of a beast than a human. If the biology wasn’t the same, why did the mentality need to be?
As long as he could get what he wanted, anything was right. Anything was acceptable if he was alright with it.
Hua Yan thought that he had steeled his resolve before. Only now did he realize how wrong he was.
Before, he still wasn’t willing to give up everything, because he didn’t fully understand what it meant to lose something from indecision.
Now that he had lost the most important person in his life, he finally had nothing more to lose!
He could give anything a try. He just needed to reach his end goal. Money, power, fame, status and cultivation… all of those things were only a means to an end.
What he wanted was Hua Yin! If he could get her back then…
“I… I won’t hesitate anymore,” Hua Yan said to Frenzy, falling asleep after.
Frenzy was satisfied with this result. All this time, Hua Yan’s words were only empty. He said he was ready to do this and that, but Frenzy, being something that lived inside Hua Yan’s very thoughts, knew that he was lying.
Even if Hua Yan believed that what he was saying to be the truth, subconsciously, because of the barriers in his mind, he was not yet ready to give his full effort.
People that did not dedicate themselves in their entirety would not be able to get anywhere.
Forget this little Lang Du Continent, Hua Yan probably wouldn’t even make it out of his town at this rate. He was just a young dreamer that thought that he had what it took to face the world and topple accepted standards with a half-hearted will alone.
In the past, it may have been a joke if Hua Yan were to claim he could do this.
Right now, however, even Frenzy had confidence that Hua Yan could accomplish it all if he said he could.
Since it had exerted too much power already, Frenzy closed itself off from the world, only leaving a small part of its will awake deep within Hua Yan.
The cogs of fate began to spin… things were only just getting started!