Parental Qualification Certificate - chapter 92

This chapter is sponsored by Starrrr!

From time to time, his parents expressed regret for having him.

The first commonly used sentence pattern was, “If I knew you would be this bear-like, If I knew you would be so disobedient, If I knew you would be so incompetent… I wouldn’t have given birth to you.”

The second commonly used sentence was, “Without you dragging us down, I would have traveled around the universe long ago, I would have divorced your father (mother), and I would have been…”

Every time he heard these phrases, Xiaofan felt that he was a person who shouldn’t have existed.

He felt that his parents gave birth to him as if they had bought a low-quality product that they did not like, was troublesome, but could not be returned.

Xiaofan said, “I was still holding on to hope that they didn’t reject me in their heart as much as they showed. But when they divorced, no one wanted me. At that moment I really understood one thing, they hate me because they want to abandon me.”

“I feel sad… Aunt Su, very sad!”

He said he was sad, but his expression was still numb and his eyes were still indifferent.

Su Yutan knew that this was a morbid reaction, an emotional detachment caused by his secondary latent wound.

In this state, he can look at and handle his relationship with his parents with a mindset of an outsider.

This ability was an instinctive choice for the subconscious to escape greater trauma and a self-protection mechanism for the human spiritual world.

But this self-protection mechanism had a big sequelae; emotional detachment. It was not easy to restore the mind of its effects and the longer the detachment, the more difficult it was to restore his emotions. After a long period, there would be no normal human feelings that would exist in the person.

Su Yutan sighed, fortunately, Xiao Fan’s latent wounds were only secondary. When he grows up, he has a possibility of self-healing.

Of course, it still took great wisdom, courage and will, and sometimes a little luck.

If he could not control his illness, it will be difficult for him to establish a healthy relationship with others.

In other words, the shadow of his childhood has tagged him to be “orphaned”; if he wants to return to society, he will need to make great efforts.

Xiao Fan turned his head to look at Su Yutan, and answered her question seriously, “I want to stay here and don’t want to be adopted. No one here will ever abandon me, and no one will be dragged down by me. I will not delay anyone’s youth, freedom, good life, and happy life anymore. I’m comfortable here.”

Su Yutan didn’t object, but just said, “Okay! But according to the procedure, I still have to let you know that you can change your mind at any time. If you changed your mind, just tell me and I’ll work on it. Okay?”

Xiaofan replied, “I won’t change my mind.”

He turned his head again, looking at the drops of water on the window glass. She wondered if he was measuring how deep the tears accumulated in his heart.

Su Yutan suddenly remembered the day she took Xiao Fan away.

When she came to their home that day, Jin Shihao and Wu Ziyan were arguing.

When she said she would take Xiao Fan away, Jin Shihao and Wu Ziyan stopped arguing, one hid in the master bedroom and the other stood on the balcony and smoked.

Xiao Fan returned to his room obediently, packed a small box by himself, and silently followed Su Yutan in his parents’ avoidance and silence.

When leaving the house, Xiao Fan had tears in his eyes, but he did not look back.

It was a silent farewell, which did not make people cry, but made people feel depressed.

Xiao Fan was brought here by Su Yutan to the Child Welfare Center.

There were special staff to take care of the children’s diet and take the children to the doctor. When their situation stabilized, they could also study in online schools. If they got better, they could go to a physical school.

As a social worker, Su Yutan kept visiting Xiao Fan once a week.

This frequency did not bother Xiao Fan or make him feel forgotten.

After that continuous spring rain, Su Yutan visited Xiao Fan for the sixth time.

The weather has cleared up and a bright sun revealed itself.

Xiao Fan’s expression and eyes still did not change much.

He told Su Yutan that his parents had called him.

“They said it was for my good and they were afraid that I would suffer with them, so they pretended not to want me and let me enter the child welfare center. They also said that I can eat and wear warm clothes, get a better education and have a better future.”

When he said that, Xiao Fan’s indifferent face showed a little ironic smile.

“What do you say, should I trust them?” he asked Su Yutan.

Su Yutan patted him on the shoulder and said with a smile, “You need to judge this question yourself. If you can’t think about it now, you can set it aside. When you grow up, you can think about it.”

Xiao Fan glanced at her, and the corners of his mouth seemed to raise a little bit, “Thank you for not saying ‘Parents are all in the world’, ‘Your Mom and Dad did this all for your good’, You know what, it really makes me sick.”

Su Yutan laughed. As a professional social worker, she would not say such things.

If all parents in the world are capable of caring for their children, then what would be the necessity of the Parental Qualification Certificate and the existence of social workers? Has the incident of hurting children under the banner of “being good for you” ever happened in the history of this planet?

“I don’t believe them.” after testing Su Yutan’s stance, Xiao Fan succinctly stated his conclusion, “If they hadn’t rejected me like that before and didn’t show regret giving birth to me, I might’ve still believed them…”

Speaking the latter part, his voice was slightly hoarse.

“Then why do you think they made this call?” Su Yutan became a temporary psychological counselor when she saw his desire to talk.

Xiaofan’s voice became calm and indifferent again, “I guess they are afraid that they will grow old and no one will support them. So they made me claim my relationship with them. Anyway, they have got rid of me and there is no harm in doing so. In case I care, they can come to the door, cry and express regret and then make me obey them.”

Su Yutan felt that Xiao Fan’s family’s words “for you” should be half true and half false.

The real point was, Xiao Fan’s entry into the child welfare center is indeed better than following them.

The fake point was that they abandoned the child, for whom and for what, only they know best.

She felt that Xiao Fan’s thoughts were too obscure. But she couldn’t tell him directly that he is wrong to think so.

Xiao Fan already had his own ideas. Simply negating his ideas will only reduce his willingness to communicate and make his spirit feel more lonely.

It took a long and patient process to make the sun shine into his tearful heart.

When she went to see Xiao Fan, Su Yutan gave him a diary.

“You should try to write a diary!” She said to Xiao Fan, “Write down your thoughts in the diary. After writing, don’t think about it again. The universe is so big, there are so many things to think and write about . You can’t always turn around and get caught up in some thoughts, right?”

Writing a diary was also a way of talking.

In addition, Xiao Fan was actually a very thoughtful child who she could encourage to go on the road of writing.

Xiao Fan looked at the diary, which was neither fine nor rough, and reached for it.

“Thank you, Aunt Su. I will remember this.” a blunt and polite smile squeezed out of his face.

[The translation belongs to Wordrain. Support us by comments, clicking on ads, or buy Miao a coffee (´ｪ｀)っ旦~]

1 ko-Fi = extra chapter