The Plane Romance - 2
The idea vanished with landing. Excuses piled up and when responses came, they were far and few between. The idea of plane love, as he would title this part of his life, was an ironic name for it which held to make two meanings for his view of the trip. A plane much like it can only stay up in the air for only a limited period of time–his idea of friendship with her only lasted just as long. He was pissed at himself for believing in the lies she told him, he was pissed at himself for falling for the same trick twice. He was pissed and being pissed certainly did not help him fall asleep in the slightest. Do you know much he wanted to throw his computer out the window closest to him? Have you come to understand the confusion of the word ‘again’? Yes, twice he had fallen for this same fated trick. Twice.
With his current state of mind everything was chaos. Just as quickly he felt pissed, he gnawed with pity. If he had to best define these situations he would say he viewed them both as sisters. It’s because they lied and cheated him–he viewed them as such but he also viewed as them as such before the truth.
He himself suffered from social anxiety his whole life and has always wanted to stop others from having to go through from the same fate. A trait he hasn’t lost, only suppressed. He still over thinks everything and his emotions are still in complete disarray. It was why he felt so much pain right now, why the anger he felt turned to pity so quickly. He is an author and the infinite number of possibilities run through his head in a single moment.
As the night came to pass he found himself apologizing for something he knew he was he had no fault. Why did he torture himself? Why did he cause himself this everlasting pain? Why did he chasing an illusion that he wanted to rid himself of? Why? Why? Why?
In one fluid motion, he threw his phone into the ground as it shattered into pieces. He would follow this with a blood curdling scream but he knew this not to be the place. In confusion, he tightly gripped his hair almost pulling it out while he fell to the ground.
Mumbling to himself he repeated the single word, “Why?”
Not caring for the it being the dead of night he stood up and ran around the city of Rome.
“If this is what they define as the feeling of love, I would rather feel nothing my whole life. For if this so called magnificent feeling only brings one pain, my words of content are words of lies. For an unrequited love is a pain worse than moments before death.”